


you make my heart shake (it drives me wild)

by seikou



Series: sickeningly sweet like honey (all i need is you) [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gryffindor!Jaehyun, Hufflepuff!Taeyong, Light Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Romance, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-03-30
Packaged: 2019-04-15 23:23:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14151609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seikou/pseuds/seikou
Summary: As the English says, he’s fallen arse over tit for Taeyong. But this time, it’s worse. Much worse.(or alternatively: the soulbond!au)





	you make my heart shake (it drives me wild)

The moment Jaehyun has gotten his Hogwarts later all the way to Connecticut, confusion clouds his eleven year old mind. He’s supposed to go to _Ilvermony_ ; he _is_ going to Ilvermony! So why has he gotten the Hogwarts letter instead of a letter of further education in his own school?

His father, after seeing the letter, has exclaimed, "Oh, you got it? Good."

Jaehyun could only stare at him with a puzzled look on his face. He asks, "Good?"

"Yes," Jaehyun’s father nods. "We’re moving there in a month. The head auror has given me a new assignment in England."

"I can’t stay here?" Jaehyun’s young mind tries to comprehend the information given to him. Leaving Ilvermony feels surreal. He’s been dead set on continuing with being a part of _Wampus_ and rooming with his best friends yet—

"Sorry, Jae. I can’t possibly leave you here when I’m in another continent," His father explains while putting a hand on top of his head, eyes begging for understanding.

Jaehyun is a smart kid and so he nods with a loud sigh, "Okay."

***

Years later, Jaehyun is a Chaser and the Captain of Gryffindor’s quidditch team. He’s still miffed about not attending Ilvermony but being sorted into Gryffindor is as close as he can be as a Wampus and that’s enough to soothe his young hurt heart. His gryffindor friends aren’t bad either and Mark, his childhood friend from Ilvermony has also received a Hogwarts letter and it makes everything all the better.

The problem though, with being in Hogwarts, the sixteen—almost seventeen—guy that he is, is liking someone so high up there that Jaehyun, despite his height, can’t even think of reaching them. Even though, technically, they are shorter than he is.

Liking Lee Taeyong is hard. He’s a _Hufflepuff_ through and through yet he’s the Head Boy, used to be Captain of the Hufflepuff quidditch team and the fastest seeker Hogwarts has seen in five years. He’s also damn amazing at Charms and Potions. And Jaehyun? Jaehyun is only one of the guys and girls that is pining after such wonderful being.

It’s hard being in Hogwarts. He wants to go back to Ilvermony just so he can escape watching Lee Taeyong smile and act so caring with literally everyone, no matter which house, younger than him.

His heart hurts just a little bit with how endeared he is. Troublesome. He’d obliviate himself if he could but then again—

"Jaehyun," Taeyong calls, yellow and black robes swishing around him as he power walks towards Jaehyun who wants to run away from him but instead stops and waits for Taeyong to catch up to him.

"Taeyong," Jaehyun smiles, watches the Head Boy grin at him as he halts to a stop. "What’s up?"

"The snitch," Taeyong answers, teasing grin on his face. "Can’t I walk with you? Where are you heading?"

Jaehyun cocks a brow, prevents himself from hoping too much because Taeyong does this with everyone. Talk, walk, hug, kiss— all platonic and never romantic.

"Astronomy tower," Jaehyun answers and starts walking, Taeyong following by his side. "Aren’t you supposed to be studying for NEWTS?"

Taeyong scrunches his nose at that, the action so cute that Jaehyun has to ball his fists to prevent himself from cooing at Taeyong or some soft act like that. He’s _got_ self-control, alright.

"Not right now," Taeyong shrugs and smiles at Jaehyun. "I’m taking a break."

"And you decided to spend it—"

Jaehyun is cut off with shouting. He hears _look out!_ before a spell hits him with a force that knocks his breath out. He hears Taeyong grunt in pain before he blacks out, body hitting the floor. All he could think in between the time he’s hit with the spell—a jinx?—and blacking out is that _he should really have went to Ilvermony._

 

Jaehyun wakes up with a gasp and the feeling of something uncomfortable tickling his magical core. It’s _weird_ , is what it is and he can’t help but groan in _uncomfortable_ before he opens his eyes.

"The fuck—"

"Hey, language."

Jaehyun looks beside him and sees Taeyong sitting on the bed, a book on his hand. They’re in the hospital wing, Jaehyun realises as his mind clears, a frown forming on his face. He trains his eyes on Taeyong again and sees the other looking at him with worry and a hint of uncertainty in his eyes. Jaehyun sits up, albeit difficultly. He huffs out a breath after a moment and leans his back against the headboard of the bed.

"What the hell happened?"

Taeyong sighs, "A spell hit us."

"Oh? So is it gone?" Jaehyun questions, cocking a brow.

Taeyong starts to chew on his lower lip then and Jaehyun can’t help but stare. Taeyong has the most attractive lips he’s ever seen, along with other things.

"Well, see. That’s the problem," Taeyong starts then laughs awkwardly. His fingers are gripping the pages of his book—a charms book titled _unknown spells for dummies_ , which _what_ —and his face is turning red and Jaehyun suddenly wants to wrap Taeyong in his arms, comfort him.

Which— he does. _He does_. It feels like he’s being controlled, _imperiused,_ feeling his body move without his consent. He gets off the bed, walks the two steps to Taeyong’s bed and promptly joins the other in his own bed then pulls Taeyong close to him, face on his chest.

Jaehyun only snaps out of it when Taeyong breathes in, a quiet chuckle escaping past his lips.

"Wait, what the fuck?"

"You know, how are you not using _bloody_ when you’ve lived here half your life? You’re so _bloody_ American," Taeyong says, voice teasing.

"No, seriously. What the _bloody fuck_ was that? Was I hit with an imperius?" Jaehyun questions, fingers twitching on their place on Taeyong’s back.

"Ha," Taeyong snorts. "I wish. Then we would have known _how to_ break it but no, it wasn’t. It’s some weird butchered spell that Lucas casted and now we’re here with some _bond_ that— that—" Taeyong breathes in deeply, voice trailing off in a panic.

_A bond?_

"What— what kind of bond?" Jaehyun hesitates to ask, voice shaking.

"It’s—" Taeyong lifts his head from Jaehyun’s chest, looks him in the eyes, licks his lips before he continues, "A soul bond."

"A soul what the f—"

"A soul bond, Jaehyun. Don’t need to curse. I know it’s not good and it’s a bother but we’re— _I’m_ trying to find how to break it. Please, don’t panic. I’m going to fix it. You trust me, right?"

Funny how Taeyong is telling him to not panic when he’s there, almost sitting on Jaehyun’s lap, breaths coming out in short puffs, wide eyes even wider than normal and face turning red, _panic_ painted on his features. Jaehyun realises that this _mishap_ doesn’t only affect him but also Taeyong. Taeyong is _saying_ those things automatically, like his filter has disappeared. The same as how Jaehyun can’t control his actions, Taeyong can’t control his words.

 _Fuck_.

Someone is testing him. Probably Godric Gryffindor or Webster Boot. They’re testing his bravery and self-control by _doing this to him with his crush_. Holy bloody fuck, Jaehyun is going to start hyperventilating.

He doesn’t.

Jaehyun faints instead.

It’s cool.

***

Jaehyun wakes up the second time with the feeling of being well rested and contented with his whole life. He’s smiling even before he opens his eyes, body starting to wake up, limbs twitching. When he clenches his fingers, he touches soft skin and wait a minute— he’s not touching himself, that would be weird. His smile drops, eyes opens quickly, sees the head resting on his chest, hair dark, smelling neutral, just a tad bit sweet.

It’s Taeyong.

He’s cuddling with _Taeyong._ Lee Taeyong _._ Jaehyun’s heart is about to jump out of his chest. Merlin, he’s going to _combust_.

Jaehyun stiffens when Taeyong moves, expecting for the other to wake up but Taeyong only nuzzles his face on Jaehyun’s chest and continues to sleep, a soft sigh escaping past his lips. Jaehyun’s heart constricts. He’s pining way too hard and this mishap— _accident_ is making him lose his control as well as his mind. He might as well go to St. Mungo’s and stay there for eternity if this continues.

He’s never thought of being in this position with _Lee Taeyong, soft hufflepuff extraordinaire,_ before yet here he is, living the unrequited love life. He suddenly misses Ilvermony and America, the place where Lee Taeyong can’t reach him, even with rumour mills and gossiping witches.

Jaehyun breathes out deeply and for a moment, allows himself to dream and hope and _touch_. His hand laying on Taeyong’s bare hip traces soothing circles. He wants to cherish this moment and remember it as the closest he’s gotten to the love of his life. He could confess but he’s more likely to be rejected and Jaehyun doesn’t want to break his heart this early.

"If only," Jaehyun says, loudly.

"If only what?" Comes from the person sleeping on his chest.

Jaehyun almost throws Taeyong off of him, only preventing himself from doing so in the last minute, hands gripping Taeyong’s hip tightly.

"Hey," Taeyong says, looking up at Jaehyun with a sleepy smile. "Good morning. How are you feeling?"

Jaehyun blinks at him, marvels at how _soft_ Taeyong looks in the morning, all sleepy eyed and pliant and _beautiful_. He swallows, clears his throat, opens his mouth then closes it again, unable to find the words he wants to say.

He ends up saying, "You’re beautiful."

Taeyong’s eyes widens before his cheeks blooms in soft pink, lips quirking into a sweet smile.

"Thank you," he says and Jaehyun is still shocked from what he’s said that he only nods, accepting the reply. "Was it the bond that made you say that?" He asks, an amused smile plastered on his face.

Jaehyun groans, uses his free hand to rub at his eyes while nodding, embarrassed. "Y-Yeah. Sorry."

"It’s cool," Taeyong says. "I liked it."

"Was that the bond?" Jaehyun asks, seeing Taeyong’s face bloom in deep red.

"Yeah— sorry."

Jaehyun laughs because it’s ridiculous. This unknown soul bond is ridiculous and making them act and say things that they normally wouldn’t. It being mutual is the icing in the cake. They’ve got no filter and no control in specific actions. If he kisses Taeyong, he could say it’s the bond. If he confesses, he could say it’s the bond.

But then again—

"Jae?"

Jaehyun blinks and notices that he’s cupped Taeyong’s cheeks without his consent. He’s so close to Taeyong that he can measure how long the other’s eyelashes are and the little golden flecks surrounding his dark brown eyes and those moles on his lips. He’s so close that he can see Taeyong’s pulse beating on the side of his neck and it’s exhilarating, nerve wracking, mind numbing, _insane_.

"Taeyong," Jaehyun says, licks his lips and watches as Taeyong licks his lips in return.

That’s it.

Lips meets lips and it’s fireworks and soft ocean waves and sun rising in the east and summer in Jeju Island. It’s the kind of rain that falls just perfectly on the ground, lightning in the distance. It’s the kind of feeling that makes Jaehyun’s heart clench and crave for more.

Taeyong’s lips are soft against his, his breath is warm, and his hands are pliant and Jaehyun doesn’t know if it’s the bond or him that’s prompting himself to move his lips against Taeyong’s own. It’s dry then wet then everything that Jaehyun doesn’t expect but all the things he’s ever wanted.

It’s perfect.

When they pull from each other, there’s a snap or something resembling it. It originates inside him, in his magical core, his soul, and it feels like something has let go, something is missing.

"So," Taeyong says, looking at him with wide eyes. He licks his red lips, wetting it even more. "That was new. Was it the bond?"

Jaehyun _doesn’t_ know. Either the bond or him, it’s what he’s always wanted. That’s what he’s supposed to say. But instead of saying those words, he replies with,

"Yeah… The bond."

"Oh," Taeyong’s eyes darkens just a little bit and his lips forms into a small frown. He looks like a kicked puppy and Jaehyun wants to know _why_ he’s looking like that. He doesn’t. Taeyong continues, "Well, thank you. I guess that’s it."

Jaehyun furrows his brows, "What’s it?"

Taeyong smiles, small, almost sad, "The bond. Can’t you feel it? Or rather, can’t you not feel it?"

Jaehyun assesses himself, feels for that urge to move and waits for his limbs to start moving in their own accord. They don’t. He realises that the snap he’s felt earlier has been the bond breaking.

_Oh._

"Oh."

Taeyong continues to smile, "Yeah. I guess the kiss was the answer. Even though the bond made you do it. Hmm."

Jaehyun wants to say, _no it wasn’t the bond_ or _it was me and the bond. we conspired_ yet he only nods, says,

"Yeah, the bond… Huh, it’s funny."

"Sorry."

Jaehyun blinks, tilts his head. "Sorry for what?"

"For the kiss and sleeping together? I know it’s uncomfortable and the bond made us do it. I just thought—" Taeyong shrugs, shuffling farther away from Jaehyun. Jaehyun’s fingers twitches.

"Oh… Oh, yeah. No— No problem." Jaehyun laughs awkwardly, swallows hard.

"Well," Taeyong stands up from the bed, all messy from sleep. Jaehyun wants to pull him close. "That’s it. I— Thank you for the— the last two days?"

Jaehyun watches him shuffle towards the door and feeling like he’s running from him. It’s a weird feeling. Normally, it’s Jaehyun running away from Taeyong, not the other way around. It’s bizarre.

"Wait, Taeyong—" Jaehyun starts but Taeyong is already out, not even waiting for a reply. Jaehyun frowns, not knowing what to feel except for disappointment.

He whispers to no one, "It wasn’t only the bond."

***

It’s frustrating, Jaehyun thinks.

He’s trying to channel his inner _Gryffindor_ but when the one he’s trying to put that action to is avoiding him like he’s the personification of _Avada Kedavra_ — well, there is no point in being brave.

Jaehyun has been trying to catch Taeyong’s eyes for almost a week now but the Head Boy only gives him small stares and tight smiles and _it’s frustrating_. Jaehyun curses the _bond_ for making him like this. His once tight hold of his self-control is now gone and he’s feeling like a kicked puppy everyday that passes, every time Taeyong plays deaf when he calls out to him.

"Dude," Johnny nudges him while shoving a huge piece of scones down his throat.

Jaehyun looks at him, makes a face at the crumbs falling on Johnny’s robes before cocking a brow in question. He sips his pumpkin juice, waits.

Finally, Johnny swallows with a bit of difficulty and nudges Jaehyun again with his bony elbows. Jaehyun nudges him back, just a tad bit harsher.

"What?"

"Stop looking like a loser," Johnny says. Jaehyun glares at him, hopes he chokes on a tart. "You’re ruining my breakfast."

Unfortunately, Johnny doesn’t choke on anything. Jaehyun sighs after a moment, downs his pumpkin juice like how he would chug cheap wine from his father’s alcohol cabinet, never mind that he’s a  _minor_.

"I’m not a loser," he says, lips pulled into a frown. "I’m frustrated. There’s a difference. Why is he avoiding me?"

Johnny stares at him for a while then shrugs, "Don’t know. Maybe because you _kissed_ him."

"It was mutual," Jaehyun retaliates and Johnny cocks a brow. He rephrases, "It was kind of mutual?"

"I don’t know, man. Is it really if the bond made you do it?" Johnny, ever the annoying voice of reason, says, voice lilting to almost judging.

"Bloody hell," Jaehyun says and Johnny mutters _you’re american. stop saying that_ but Jaehyun ignores him, continues, "It wasn’t only the bond. You know I like him."

"Yeah, cool. Sounds fine but does he like you?" Johnny picks a banana, examines it, before peeling it and shoves half of it down his throat. It’s disgusting and quite obscene. Jaehyun hits him with his elbow and Johnny chokes. _Finally_.

Jaehyun doesn’t answer Johnny’s last question, allows it to fester in his mind. It’s a mantra, a chant like: _does he like you, does he like me, does he like anyone?_ And it eats at him.

Ever since the bond disappeared like some game of exploding snap, taking Jaehyun’s self-control with it, Jaehyun has been trying to figure out what to do and why the hell does he feel like he’s lost something when he’s supposed to feel relieve that he’s not some puppet anymore urged to move by some unknown force. He knows it’s the bond but it _doesn’t_ make sense. He should have gone back to pining over Lee Taeyong and smashing badgers on air to let out his frustration. Not being unable to go a day without thinking about _the kiss_ and how Taeyong feels good in his arms and how he’s given that one chance to confess and get the guy he likes but he ends up fucking it all up.

As the English says, he’s fallen arse over tit for Taeyong. But this time, it’s worse. Much worse.

He’s snapped out of his depressing thoughts by Johnny saying, close to his ears, "There’s mister head boy with his admirers."

And admirers does Taeyong have. He has almost the entire Hufflepuff first years adoring him plus some of the older ones and even from different houses.

Jaehyun is not jealous. He just thinks it’s unfair that Taeyong is giving them all his attention while he only casts brief glances at Jaehyun before looking away again. Just like— there he goes, _now_. Taeyong looks at the Gryffindor table, zeroing in on Jaehyun, meets Jaehyun’s eyes for the briefest of moments, purses his lips tight in a span of zero point one seconds then looks away again and plasters a sweet smile on his face directed to his set of friends.

 _Ugh_.

"He hates me," Jaehyun whines.

Johnny nods, "Yeah."

Jaehyun glares at him for agreeing before he stands up, brushes some crumbs from his robes and saunters away from the Gryffindor table. He’s got Potions first thing. And that’s with Hufflepuff.

Woe is him.

***

Jaehyun finds it funny how the world is finally working _with_ him instead of _against_ him. He thanks Webster Boot for finally blessing him. After all, a Wampus will always be a Wampus.

It’s a Hogsmeade weekend. Jaehyun has contemplated on not going, still wallowing in self-pity and _fine,_ jealousy. But Johnny, along with the Ravenclaw Taeil, has somehow talked him out of dressing up and going out in the cold. The snow is falling and the way to Hogsmeade feels like forever but Jaehyun breathes in, feeling free for the first time in a week.

There’s still the feeling of something missing inside him, his soul longing for _someone_ but he ignores it and enjoys the banter of his friends, joining them when they go to _Spintwitches_ to ogle the new and limited _Thunderbolt XIV_. Along the way, he stops thinking of Taeyong and it feels like fresh air, not having to see the other in every corner he turns to like the fates are out to get him or punish him. It’s good. It _feels_ good.

The good feeling disappears and is replaced, once again, by longing when Jaehyun passes by _J.Pippin’s_ shop and Taeyong is just going out, a small pouch on his hand. Jaehyun stops and the other follows him before they scatter around, leaving him staring at Taeyong like some fool. The people around him ignores him and side-steps his frozen frame. It feels like the world is slowing down and his heart is in his throat and when Taeyong meets his eyes, it’s like coming home.

The perfect picture shatters when Taeyong visibly sighs and looks away from Jaehyun. Jaehyun _moves_ , not the same as with the bond where he feels like a doll. This time, it’s all him; Jaehyun moves with _purpose_ , steps heavy and strides long, reaching Taeyong in a couple of seconds. Taeyong hasn’t even moved from his spot outside the potions shop, looking this way and that, side to side, like he’s thinking of where to escape but can’t.

"Taeyong," Jaehyun greets with a dimpled smile.

Taeyong turns to him and plasters a small sweet smile on his face. Jaehyun coughs to prevent from swooning.

"Hey, Jaehyun."

And that’s that. The fates might have finally taken pity of him but they sure are making him do _all the work_. Not that Jaehyun is complaining. He’s thankful. Very much so. So he continues,

"What’s that?" He stares at the pouch on Taeyong’s hand.

Taeyong looks to the side, hesitant for a beat before he hums, tilts his head, "Sleeping draught."

Jaehyun blinks. A student can get sleeping draught in the hospital wing but only a maximum of three times which means Taeyong has reached his maximum from the matron and now he’s buying more. Jaehyun frowns, lips pulling down quite dramatically.

"That’s not healthy," he says, concern in his voice.

Taeyong scrunches his nose, looks at him with those big eyes of his, says nonchalant, "Who says I’m trying to be healthy, hm?"

Jaehyun cracks a short laugh and shakes his head in endearment. He steps beside Taeyong, avoiding the slowly growing mass of students arriving in Hogsmeade. It’s almost noon but the sky is dark, clouds heavy, grey. A promise of more snow.

"Taeyong," Jaehyun says, braving to clasp a hand on Taeyong’s elbow. Taeyong looks at it briefly but doesn’t shrug him off. Jaehyun releases a quiet sigh of relief and starts to walk, Taeyong following by his side. "You can’t sleep properly? Is it nightmares?"

Taeyong smiles at everyone greeting him. It’s a bit overwhelming for Jaehyun to witness how popular Taeyong actually is. It’s different when they’re in Hogwarts, it’s familiar people, familiar environment, everyone knows everyone. Here, in Hogsmeade, Jaehyun barely knows anyone but everyone knows him and more so, Taeyong. They call out to him, they smile at him, some kids even shake his hands and just— _what_.

 _Purebloods_ , Jaehyun thinks. _Popular, elegant, powerful_ — He side-eyes Taeyong, adds, _beautiful_.

"Nightmares?" Taeyong finally says after ruffling a kid’s head. He snorts, shaking his head as if amused by what Jaehyun has said, "You can… say that, I guess." His face is red and he’s avoiding looking at Jaehyun’s face. Jaehyun wonders if he’s flustered or just plain uncomfortable with Jaehyun.

"Oh," Jaehyun says. "Sorry. But—"

"Jaehyun," Taeyong stops walking. Jaehyun follows.

They’re in front of _Madame Puddifoot’s Tea Shop_ and there are couples coming in and out of the establishment. The words _do you want to go in?_ is on the tip of his tongue but he prevents himself from saying them, afraid—so very afraid—of the outcome.

"What do you want?" Taeyong looks at him straight in the eyes, gaze piercing through Jaehyun’s very soul.

Something snapped, like tendrils of connection, a thread that was once lost and now found. Jaehyun blinks, realises that the bond isn’t fully gone. It’s a harsh realisation. He doesn’t know if Taeyong knows and he’s reluctant to confront him about it, remembering the last time they’ve discussed _the bond_.

Jaehyun hears himself say, "You."

 _It’s not the bond_ , he thinks to himself. It’s a slip of the tongue purely from the deepest of Jaehyun’s affection towards Taeyong. He tells himself that but he still feels unsure.

 _It’s not the bond_ , he repeats.

"I— What?" Taeyong blinks, face reddening as he throws wide eyed glances at Jaehyun.

"I mean, you— uh," He panics, says, "The bond isn’t gone. It’s still there."

" _What?_ "

"Don’t you feel it? I don’t know what happened but it hasn’t disappeared. I don’t think it ever has…"

Taeyong’s eyebrows furrows, contemplating Jaehyun’s words before he mutters, "Bloody fuck."

 

So, the fates really doesn’t like Jaehyun. _Or_ really likes him because apparently, according to the healer that has ran a diagnose on both of them, the bond hasn’t actually disappeared but has actually settled more firmly. Jaehyun doesn’t know what to do or say or—

"Great," Taeyong says beside him.

They’re walking down the corridor to the Great Hall after visiting the hospital wing. They’ve been told that the bond is not harmful, it won’t force them to move again, treating them like puppets. Taeyong has asked how to break it and the healer has said, frown on her lips,

"It takes at least one month of no contact for this kind of bond to break. It’s not the proper spell nor is it casted properly, so you two", she gestures to them with narrowed eyes, "Are suffering the consequences of this butchered spell. If you can’t do this, we’ll have to find another way but this is the best one for now."

And here they are with Jaehyun still lost on what to do.

"Sorry," Jaehyun says when Taeyong doesn’t add anything more. "I thought— Well, I don’t think I was thinking properly. The bond kind of," he gestures with his hands wildly, trying to convey how overwhelmed he’s felt before and is feeling right now.

"Yeah, I know," Taeyong sighs, lips pouting just slightly.

Jaehyun wants to kiss him, wants to hug him, wants to _love_ him. It’s almost there; the dam is breaking, Jaehyun’s feelings overflowing bit by bit.

"Is it bad?" Jaehyun whispers, his steps halting in front of the stairs.

Taeyong snaps his head towards him, a few steps away from Jaehyun. "What?"

"Is it that bad? The bond? With me?" Jaehyun asks, almost desperate.

Taeyong purses his lips and narrows his eyes. He looks intimidating now, someone with authority, with power. Jaehyun almost cowers. _Almost_. He holds his place, doesn’t move a muscle, doesn’t even twitch. This is where it ends. Bond or not.

"Of course, Jaehyun," Taeyong says, a matter of fact. Jaehyun’s heart breaks just a tiny bit. Like the size of Texas perhaps. "Bonds like this are deceiving. Don’t you remember what happened before? Moving without our consent. _Saying things_ that we don’t want to say. _Being together_ when we don’t want to? It’s a load of crap."

Jaehyun ignores the _ooooh’s_ of the portraits aligning the walls but only after throwing them a vicious glare. He looks at Taeyong properly now, out of the haze of _being in love_ , out of his self-deprecation, of his own cowardice.

Taeyong looks infinitely gorgeous, Jaehyun will always think that. But beneath there’s exhaustion in the way his eyes droops every few seconds and how his cheekbones are more prominent than before and the eyebags under his eyes, they’re darker. His lips are dry, chapped, despite normally being so red and enticing. Jaehyun sees the Taeyong now; the one clutching his pouch of Sleeping Draught, the one taking in deep breaths after his long and passionate tirade, the one Jaehyun has refused to see just so he can wallow in his own self-pity.

In an act of bravery, fully channeling his inner Gryffindor, Jaehyun says, firm but soft, a sure confession, "What if I wanted to? What if I _want_ to?"

Taeyong’s breath hitches and his eyes widens even more than usual. He looks lost like that, he looks scared.

"What?"

Jaehyun shoulders through, "What if I wanted to kiss you? What if I want to be together, bond or not? What would you do?"

His heart is beating so fast he can feel it ticking on the side of his neck and on his inner wrists. The butterflies in his stomach is going wild or perhaps that’s the pumpkin pie he’s eaten for breakfast. Either way, Jaehyun feels like he’s going to vomit more embarrassing words, more confessions that he’s only dreamed of saying.

It doesn’t feel too bad, he realises. It’s one burden off his shoulders.

Taeyong’s lips are now parted. He looks like a fish, mouth moving open and close, eyes wide in surprise. Jaehyun would have laughed if he isn’t so nervous. He opts for staring back with equally wide eyes.

"You’re— To me— _You?_ " Taeyong chokes out, throat bobbing as he swallows loudly.

Jaehyun nods like a puppet, hears himself saying automatic, "That I like you? Yeah. For— For _so long_."

 _"Me?"_ Taeyong points at himself, finger pushing on his robed chest.

Jaehyun feels like a broken tape now, repetitive. But if that's what it takes for Taeyong to understand the depth of his feelings for him then he’ll repeat himself for eternity.

"Yes, Taeyong." Jaehyun nods firmly, in more control of his actions now that his confession hasn’t been rejected immediately. "It’s— It wasn’t the bond who wanted to kiss you, it was me. I— I’ve always wanted to kiss you."

"Why?" Taeyong asks, brows now furrowed. He looks so confused that Jaehyun almost feels himself being confused too.

"Because I like you?" Jaehyun says, more a question.

"Why?" Taeyong insists, chewing on his lower lip. "The bond—"

"The bond only intensified my feelings for you," Jaehyun explains and prevents himself last minute by casting a _muffliato_ at the portraits who’ve started cooing at both of them. Still, his wand hand twitches. "Before the bond, during the bond, even after I thought it was gone, it’s always you. And I know I’m a half-blood and not that great but if you— can— if you— want, we can…" he coughs, choking on his words and feelings. He clears his throat, continues, "We can ignore the bond and try… both of us?"

Really, he’s minutes away from crying. And he’s not even one for crying like a baby. Once a year, perhaps. Apparently, his feelings for Taeyong is enough to make him cry, to swallow his pride and show how vulnerable the other can make him. It’s new but welcome. Vulnerability is not a poison, it’s the very core of Jaehyun’s sincere feelings towards Taeyong.

"I don’t want to ignore the bond," Taeyong whispers, looking down at the ground. Jaehyun wants to see his face but the fact that Taeyong’s ears are a deep red is enough for Jaehyun to know that Taeyong’s face is as red as them. "I’m taking my NEWTS soon and I’m leaving Hogwarts. I’ll probably become an apprentice for a potions master. I won’t be here. I _can’t_ ignore the bond."

Jaehyun listens intently, wonders why Taeyong is insisting on the bond when they don’t need it, Jaehyun doesn’t need it. It’s a hindrance, a problem that is hard to break. If Taeyong wants to break the bond then Jaehyun has to pretend not to know him, has to pretend that he’s not in love with him, has to tell himself that _it’s okay, it’s only his first love_.

"You want to break it?" Jaehyun croaks, heart skipping a painful beat. On the background the portraits lets out sad cooing noises.

Taeyong meets his gaze, dark eyes on Jaehyun’s own. There’s hesitancy in Taeyong’s gaze, a hint of uncertainty but there’s also determination. He’s the perfect picture of someone ready to _fight_.

It’s a gorgeous sight.

"No," Taeyong says, soft yet clear, firm. "I want the full bond. What we have is a half-bond. It’s not complete."

"You’re saying…" Jaehyun’s voice trails off as he thinks of the implications of Taeyong’s words. "You… to _me_?"

Taeyong’s serious face finally crumbles and it lights up. _Lights up_ like the fucking sun and it’s bloody fucking beautiful. He hasn’t seen Taeyong this bright since their parting in the Hospital Wing and Jaehyun’s chest clenches a tad too tight at the sight.

"You don’t want to?" Taeyong asks, cocking a brow.

Jaehyun looks around, checking the atmosphere surrounding them, listening to the portraits, glances at the stairs that keeps on moving every five minutes. It’s the same corridor but different atmosphere. It feels like someone has breathed a sigh of relief in their direction and everything seems positive, bathed with light that seemed to come out from nowhere. The people in the portraits are now cheering, running from one portrait to another to look at Jaehyun and Taeyong properly. They shout at them to _kiss! kiss! kiss!_ and _use protection, mates!_ and _oh, young love_. It’s a little bit off putting, to be surrounded by dead people while the love of his life is confessing to him yet—

Yet Jaehyun can only feel happiness; it blooms from the tips of his toes, to the wild butterflies in his stomach, to the over-eager beating of his heart, to his red cheeks and ending to the very tips of his ears. So _red_ they are, he probably resembles a tomato right now. He doesn’t care though. Jaehyun doesn’t care because Taeyong is looking at him expectantly, waiting for him to say _something_.

Finally, he coughs out, voice unnecesarrily hoarse, "I want to. I want to… very much."

Taeyong’s face becomes even brighter, puppy eyes scrunching into an eye smile and _oh merlin, morgana, dumbledore_ , he looks so ethereal, unbelievable, wonderful. Jaehyun can’t believe his life. He’s going to fully bond with this person, with this human being, with this angel incarnate.

"Wonderful," Taeyong steps closer to him and Jaehyun’s fingers twitches. A hand lands on his cheek, warm, soft, smelling sweet. "We can do it after your magical inheritance. Technically, you’re still a kid."

Jaehyun pouts, rests a firm hand on Taeyong’s hips, whines, "I’m not a kid. I’m almost an adult. And," he grins teasingly, "I’m taller than you."

Taeyong pinches his cheek, "Aw, such a baby. Don’t make me cast a jinx on you."

"Fine," Jaehyun huffs but then offers a wide dimpled smile. He knows he’s radiating the kind of happiness that could power the brightest patronus out there. It feels surreal, like a dream. Jaehyun fears it’s a dream. He mutters, "Can I… kiss you?"

Taeyong smiles at him, rubs a thumb on his cheek and nods in consent. Jaehyun beams, allows himself to fall further because it’s fine. Now it’s fine. Perhaps not tomorrow but today, it’s all that he’s been dreaming of for years. It’s all that he can wish for.

When their lips meet, it’s soft like the last time they have kissed. Taeyong’s lips are slightly chapped but so as Jaehyun’s own. It’s perfect, he thinks when he breathes in through his nose and deepens the kiss, lips pushing on Taeyong’s warm ones. It’s innocent, sweet, the hesitation of a new couple. It’s also fierce, hot, the determination of lasting forever.

It’s a kiss that has Jaehyun pulling Taeyong closer, clutching the other closer to him until he can feel Taeyong’s fingers gripping the soft hairs on the nape of his neck and Jaehyun’s hands are gripping Taeyong’s covered hips. It’s hot, desperate, _enough_.

Jaehyun tells himself _it’s enough_ when his tongue traces Taeyong’s bottom lip and a soft sound escapes past the other’s mouth. _It’s enough_ , he thinks while nibbling on Taeyong’s lip, wanting for more but thinking _it’s enough_.

Taeyong pulls back first, breathing heavily. They’re surrounded by silence with the exception of the moving stairs. The portraits has become quiet and Jaehyun is thankful for that. He’s embarrassed yet content. Shy and happy.

He smiles at Taeyong, licks his lips, breathes out, "Sorry."

Taeyong takes in a deep breathe, taps Jaehyun’s cheek gently and replies, "It’s cool since I really ike you."

Jaehyun’s lips stretches into the widest of smiles before he replies quietly, somewhat shy, "I really like you too."

"Lovely," Taeyong says, offering a shy smile himself.

"Lovely," Jaehyun parrots.

They stand there, staring at each other, smiling like fools. They’re scared out of their wits when Nearly Headless Nick comes hollering about students with no respect for their elders. He passes them with only a comment about how Taeyong looks familiar which Taeyong answered with telling the ghost about his father who’s a part of Wizengamot and Hogwarts Board of Governors.

When the ghost disappears around the corner, Taeyong turns back to Jaehyun who’s looking at him in awe. Taeyong tilts his head, all cute like, Jaehyun can’t resist but peck his lips.

"Are you a heir?" Jaehyun asks, curious, a bit worried.

Taeyong rolls his eyes, shakes his head, "Merlin, _no_. I’m the youngest. However, you still have to meet my father. He’ll be coming tomorrow."

"Wait, _what_?" Jaehyun almost trembles in fear on the spot.

Taeyong giggles, these cute little sounds that’s just too much for Jaehyun’s poor heart. "I’m kidding. You’ll meet him when we bond. I have to meet your family too, right?"

"Uh," He thinks of his father, now the Head Auror of Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Jaehyun shrugs, "Sure."

"So we’re good?" Taeyong asks, nibbling on his lip, suddenly shy.

Jaehyun takes his hand gently, squeezes it and nods, "More than good."

Admittedly, the fates hasn’t really helped Jaehyun that much but he thanks them anyways. The butchered spell, the soul bond keeping intact, Taeyong actually liking him back— He thanks the fates, Lady Magic, his Gryffindor bravery.

For now, everything is good. More than good.

**Author's Note:**

> i am so sorry if i didn't use the english words/sayings properly. i Tried™. this is my first jaeyong drabble/oneshot (?) so i apologize if there's ooc-ness in this one. you can also find half of this fic on twt [here](https://twitter.com/sejkou/status/978600665378324482). i hope y'all liked it, or smth!! thank you, ily! (ps: sorry for mistakes! i didnt proofread this. im too lazy rip)
> 
> comments, kudos & bookmarks always appreciated <3
> 
> talk jaeyong to me @ [twitter](http://twitter.com/sejkou) xoxo


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